What a fucking weekend! Couldn't get on a computer coz the Libraries are closed on Sundays, unless you're living in a fucking car that is. Anyway, This morning I saw a big case in back of a car, so I smashed the window and stole the cunt. Turns out there was a laptop in it, and it's got WIFI, so I can go online any cunting time I want, Fucking bastard result!
It's been fucking pissing down all day today and the Library wouldn't let me in, so I smacked the old cunt in the face for stopping me. Ended up in a laundrette to keep warm. As fucking usual, every cunt was staring at me and pulling faces. This one bitch kept tutting in my direction, so I got my cock out and waved it at her, telling her to suck it. She legged it out of the place, leaving her clothes in the dryer, so I dropped my pants and shit a wet turd on to the floor, then I picked it up and tossed it into her dryer. After only a couple of minutes the place started to stink of hot shit, and it was too much for me, and all the other cunts who ran for the door. I robbed three handbags and left. I ended up with over 200 quid. Fucking brill!
shitted by Wobblingscruffbag @ 6:51 am
45 Comments:
Cunt. Carry on commenting on my blog, see how many minutes you can make it last.
Pathetic
I was in the launderette at the time and I can confirm the stink was awful...... all I was trying to do was find somewhere to plug an iron in..... I'll try a priest maybe...
(((HUGS)))
Carry on commenting on my blog
Thank you once again for the invite. :o)
Hooray!
Not only have you promoted homelessness, you also promoted faecophillia too!
Well done you
That is true, but I have so far resisted the urge to shit on a lesbians tits.
Would you have a clew how to do that?
And it's encouraging that other Bloggers want you to visit their site.
It's almost as if .... as if ..... as if they crave the attention and adulation that an aromatic fecally challenged homeless person can provide.
She must be a right sad cunt.
Awwww Bless.
I'll send her a few bob from the thousands I made from suckers.
(((Hugsss)))
WS
Fuck Me !!
I just saw lithaborns picture.
[IMG]http://static.flickr.com/25/53827646_a7c8396761.jpg[/IMG]
What an enormous fat fucking whale !!
SOMEBODY GET MY HARPOON !!
Thank you for your interest in my flickr photos. You should know, though, that I don't have any pics of me on there, genius.
In fact, there's only two pics of me on the entire internet. I challenge you to find them.
Find pics of you?
You are failing to take into account two very salient facts.
Firstly, I don't give a fuck about you.
Secondly, I don't give a fuck about you.
Although if you ain't that lardy arsed blubber bucket in the photo then you must be shagging it and therefore you have my deepest pity.
I mean, Jesus Christ, the smell alone off her fat minge would put me off.
My oh my, how those fat birds smell.
And don't get me started on all the sweat rashes they have all over their bodies cus they can't reach to clean 'em properly or fit in a shower or bath.
I think you have suffered enough.
Whoops. Hang on. What am I saying.
You're a gormless cunt and deserve everything you get.
Take care hon,
((((HUGSSS))))
WS
An interesting blog.
How did you become homeless?
Did you ever have a house, job, children?
I think there's so much background you aren't telling us that I'd like to know.
Take care and best wishes.
Bethany
A new literary genius has been discovered.
Not out of the woods yet
But getting closer...
There have been meetings and it looks like there might be a publishing deal. Nothing is settled...and don't know what else to say for now, feel everything, and sometimes nothing, just walking around in a daze...my fingernails bitten down to the quick.
Meetings?
Publishing deal?
Agents?
Fuck me ! How the homeless live.
Wasn't like that in my day.
I'm sure any REAL homeless people would love to give the bitch a good kicking for bringing their noble profession into disrepute.
APPARENTLY THE DSS ARE CLOSING FAST..
Fuck off you Nonce.
We want cold hard facts, not "apparently".
Stop trying to steal wobblingscruffbags limelight as the biggest cunt on this blog.
You are all a bunch of caaannntttss.....
... it is hard to see the wood for the trees at the moment ...
WanderingConArtist
What are you talking about you stupid cunt.
I thought the wood was all around your parked car at night !!
And now the sneaky twat is encouraging others to post their own bollocks about "feelings" in order to fill her forthcoming pamphlet.
The bleeding hearts will lap it up.
Open the comments section up to all to get a true picture is what this voice of reason says.
But she won't cus she's a cunt.
You syphilitic, motherfackin', tit-brained, puny-knobbed, wee peckermunching caaaaaaaannnnnnntttttsssss!!!!!!!
It is not always easy to see a thing close up. You know what I mean... — I am heading straight for the cliche about it being hard to see the wood for the trees — and trying hard to resist it — but that's exactly what I mean. Because it is — hard to see the wood for the trees at the moment, about a lot of things, but especially about this blog. It seems to have touched a nerve, brought all sorts of people together, and brought out both the best and the worst in them too. Hard to understand what has happened here sometimes. Maybe it is not just one thing, but several, and maybe I won't know until all this is over, but was wondering if anyone could put it into words themselves — help me to see the wood a bit more. I imagine it is a very personal thing, different for everyone.
I think this blog must be gaining in popularity due to some scotish turd trying to spoil it by their poopy talk (it may be scruffbags ex-wife, a fearsome ginger headed creature in an ill fitting kilt).
I wonder if scruffbag has been approached by an agent yet?
I realise he's probably approached a lot by the police.
Remember me when you are famous, you drunken misfit !!
Hugssss....
Scottish cunts!
Bit hypocritical you deleting these you mongified, shit-for-brains fuckwit Scruffbag...
There's choice language accompanied by wit and then there's just inane posts from some jock.
Bring back involuntary euthanasia is what I say.
Ah' take offence tae your sugesstion thit' scoats cannae enunciate anyhing, ya bass.. s'no true, we're amongst the maist literate bampots yir' liable tae meet ya bass, ye! Burns, Sir Walter Scott, ah rest mah fuckin' case...
Hi WSB
You haven’t posted for a while now – hope everything is okay and that you haven’t been arrested again. I keep checking your blog, but to no avail. What have you been up to this week?
Hugs and kisses
Probably unconscious in a gutter somewhere.
Or else he's too busy in meetings with agents. :)
Hoots mon! Och aye and hugs and kisses, (nearly forgot)
Ahm a fat Scottish lesbian wae wee titties. I've tried rubbing ma ayn shite on them but it disnae seem tae work. Ah found oot waar yon Scribey was staying in her car in the woods and ah waited till the full moon before stealing a wee bit of her shite that she deposited ootside her cair.
I smeared it aw over ma wee boobies and ah cannae believe the fawntawstic results! Ma tits are noo hawnging doon tae ma feet and ah can wipe ma airse wae them the noo.
Ahm so thrilled aboot it. D'ye think ah should get masel an agent?
Mair hugs and kisses.xxxx
Hi:
Though I thank you for visiting, you'll please understand that I will NOT be publishing your entire BLOG of potty mouth. Though your invitation was to "See what a REAL blog looks like, and it's written by a REAL homeless man."
I only 'SEE' a bully and a thief, neither of which makes you qualify as having or being either.
Being homeless doesn't mean you have to steal, as I've been homeless for years and never have...so that's just a life choice, having nothing to do with being homeless, only dishonesty.
I will only lead you to the living water...I shall not make you drink it. Grab a book from one of those library's and read it to improve your language skills and then feel free to submit again, however, if you want me to publish it...no potty mouth or I'll just flush it.
your humble servant,
Ancient Clown
p.s. Please remember, I don't think I know..I just know I'm thinking..their are those like yourself who say; "I don't think..I know." To which I'm forced to reply; "I don't think you know either, which is why I'll do my own thinking thank you."
A right load of shite that was!
I mean really, have these shitheads no humour in them at all?
Who gives a monkeys if homeless people steal or not. Bigger things on my mind at the moment. Big issues.
For example, when are the monsters that run this planet going to start culling the human population and where is it going to start?
Please continue with this shite blog. It's a bit of heavy relief in a shitty world.
(hugs and kisses)
WS, ahm shick of the shlurs against the Jock race being propagated againsht Shcotsmen in thish blog, by the way. Itsh definitely indicative of a bias against Northernersh that I shee here, aye....Shcotsh lezzesrsh are a welcome adjunct to oor way ay life up here yas bastads. We accept they fuckers wi' the agreement thit we git tae join in wi' they're fun n' gemmes, eh?>?
OMFG this is wonderful!
Why d'ya call me homeless? I've got a home. Anyways, thank you for commenting on my blog...I think, and, um...keep up whatever your doing. And you really give homeless a new meaninig into it; a more cynical meaning into it.
If yon Jock Caant is really ma pal Sean Connery, go way slap yer wee wifey. Ye shound jesht like him, mind. I dinnae ken if ye are him but if ye are could ye give me a wee bit o advice aboot ma tits?
I ken ye have experience in this area.Wa wi all thaim Jimmy Bond pictoores.
Ma tits are noo sae lang ah haive tae wrap them aroond ma heed to keep thaim fae trailin behind me in the street tripping up aw they grannies that find me sae attractive.
Wa's a Jock Lessie to dae? Oor Wullie talt me tae try rubbin a mixture o porridge and dog shite on ma titties and tae get yon Wandering Scribey tae lick it off. Aye, it sounds like a braw idea but I dinnae ken if ah can take any mair of yon middle class whiner.
Och ah nearly forgot mah hugs and kisses xxxx
Saturday, May 13, 2006
A stroke of luck
Not sure if I'm dreaming this or not. But I think Lady Luck just came strolling down my laneway, rolling her big, shiny dice. Words came clattering to a stop, and all I can do for now is smile.
Not sure if I'm dreaming this or not...
I love wandering shitter. Crimp one off in your laneway for all your obese lesbian fans.
((( Clit Hugs )))
Maybe all us big titted dykes can come to your laneway and watch you write and shit at the same time?
Ah cin recommend stuffin' plenty o' haggis up yer fanny'll dae the trick Wandering Jimmy....
On the subject of book deals - guess who now has their own biography out on sale??
None other than..... Pete Doherty!!
Trying to imagine the content:
"was born. took smack. took more smack. got famous. took smack. sang badly on Live8. took smack. shagged kate moss. took smack. got arrested. took smack. took more smack. Took loads and loads of smack. the end."
See....I've just saved you £15.99!! If you go out and buy it, it will fund his smackheadness. Just say no!
Pop legend, my arse
Ah'll defo be buying that book, by the wey. His lifestyle's pretty much wit' we git up to in Edinburrah every fuckin' weekend. Fucking barry, ah'm tellin ye'! Smacked up to the eyeballs, batter some weegie, an' go on the piss. Sums it up for us cunts...Barry!
Hmm. Well I'll have you know, Jock Caant, (is that your real name?) we Southern Jonnies lead a somewhat similar lifestyle. I had three swifts of shandy in the Potter's Wheel on the Kings Road, Chelsea the other night and I tell you I was off my bally head! I was told by one of my chums the next day that I had gawn out onto the street to say hello, how do you do, to a fellow I had not been introduced to. Can you imagine how I felt upon being told by dear, sweet Perigrine that choice bit of information? Well I jolly well don't mind telling you I did a little poo in my plusfours. Papa was frightfully upset after bedtime underwear inspection. Mama was no less put out. She told me to eat shit and die!
(a big lick of your bum with my tongue for you)xxx
Thatsh fuckin' guid stuff Rupert, ah suggest thit oor lifestyles ur very shimliar, excepet yoor an' ugly English wankjob, n' am a Scotch alpha male.. Otherwise we've goat plenty in common junior bawsack...
'ere, Jock. Ever thought abaat getting elocooshun lessons? I used to talk like you and so did my mates Rod Stewart and Lulu but like them I felt so inferior talking broad Gorbals in London taan that I had to do somink abaat it.
" Oh, ah've just come doon frae the Isle of Skye,
Ah'm awfy thick and ah'm awfy shy........"
D'ye ken that one, Jock?
That's ma favourite song to sing when Ah'm having a shite!
Noo that I speak posh, ah'm awfy concerned aboot Wobblingscruffbag.
Does the poor wee loon no have an agent? It must be awfy tough for him.
Ah was strolling doon Camden High Road the other day when I smelt this awfy pong coming from a pile of rags ootside the tube station. I had a closer look tae see if there was onything worth stealing and knock me doon wi ma sporran if it wisnae a wee man! Surely this must be Wobblingscruffbag was mah first thoughts. I gave him a good kick where ah thought his airse was and ma boot came away all covered in shite. Naturally ah was delighted! Unfortunately by the time ah had licked ma boots clean the wee man had disappeared.
Onyway, ah hope everything is fine wi Wobble and remember, son, you can come and live in ma toilet for as long as you like.
(Hugs and pishes)xxxx
I say chaps, where in dear old London town is the Scottish quarter? Can anyone recommend a decent Scottish restaurant?
A bunch of my chums from Eton and Marlborough had just got back from the Henley Regatta and I must confess we had over-indulged on the Pimms. We had a delightful supper in Simpsons on the Strand and wandered up West laying about the odd layabout and Johnnie Foriegner on the way. Suddenly we came across a strange apparition. It was a working class Jock wearing a kilt and a pair of those awful building site boots playing the bagpipes. Instinctively, my schoolchums and I and Prince Harry, bared our bottoms and recieved a jolly good thrashing across the buttocks from the Jock and a dozen of his compatriots who had been hiding in a nearby public convenience. So that is what sex is all about!
When we told our story to all our chums back in the dorm they were all so envious they demanded they accompany us on our next outing up to town.
My form master insists that there is indeed a Scottish Brixton somewhere in London and it now my quest to find it. Prince Harry has suggested we try the Wormwood Scrubs area. He says the last time he was there a disgusting smell of shite had given him multiple orgasms. Could this possibly be the habitat of Wanderingscruffbag?
lol. can't even rant well, can you?
lithaborn's two internet pics
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